Loyalty is just a tattoo

Having to realize that not everyone means what they say Is a labored Idea to fathom when youre soul who means everything they say. This past summer I found out my boyfri terminate had been cheating on me. To me this was the hardest news to sw all(prenominal)ow, to see the person you trusted with everything, who was your backbone and your shelter In midst of the do was not merely holding about you and saying, l recognise you to only you plainly to someone else as well.Instantly my world turned upside calibrate, I ad to impertinence the reality of the news I had found out. He apologized of course and in the end decided that I was the best prime(a) for him, he wanted to make things work and go forward in our relationship, but how do you begin to trust again? Where do you survive? Is he sincere this judgment of conviction? So many questions running done my head so much offend and pain still. From then on I withdraw guarded my heart similar the jewel it is and protected it from anyones harm. This situation elicited the most change on me because never allow I ever love the same.I take my life twenty-four hour period by day now, planning a future with someone Is so platitude too me. Had to realize that unceasingly very is not forever and that relationships argon day by day, anything could happen tomorrow. People change every day, they play new faces all the time I live as if someone finds a person who fits your spot in there life and who plays the utilisation better will conk your replacement and you will experience nobody but a memory, to some people what means everything to them today can, become nothing to them tomorrow and thats just how some people are.Reminiscing on the long time when I thought people waited till they were 21 to drink. Couples waited until they were married to have sex, people didnt do drugs. I thought you would always end up marrying your soul mate, I thought your friends were your friends and they would never leav e your side, that everyone you tell I love you too would say it back, and that your love story will end up like the movies. Its entirely crazy how you grow up with all this love and hope in your heart and then youre thr fareledge into what you think Is a twisted. KC and cold world but Its actually fitting life and you Just have to live It. In my head I tell myself Im still the same person I was a course ago but in all reality Im not. This situation caused me to become more(prenominal) sensitive and more protective of myself more than anything. Never did I realize that a person could cause so much inside(a) pain and there was no cure, no David or Misspoken can stimulate this boo boo, but too face the reality of it all, and over time hoping to get better. My approach is sterner in dealing with certain situations, I feel as if people take me serious that they will sack outIm not the reference to mess around with and will not play games. I quick closed my heart and right now thinking about forever with someone Is Just put on the backbencher for now. Trusting someone has never been so hard until now. You never know whats going through the some other persons mind and there honest intentions with 1 OFF be more to myself and not trust anybody but God. I Just play the role, and Just make it seem as if Im okay but deep down inside Im hurting everyday and I always ask myself what did I do wrong to make him want to cheat? Does he really love me?Does he deserve this second chance? Its eating at me all the time and I Just want the truth but no one seems to know the answer. That to me is what is affecting me the most. That causes me to zone out, get distracted, squall at night, ignore and push away anybody who tries to get to know me. Im not sure how long will I be hurt or when I will find closure to my situation but it this has had the biggest opposition on me this summer. The scariest thing about trustyty is that everyone has their own definition of it. When I thought of my boyfriend I thought he was the most loyal of them all.I thought he would be different from the rest and that he could attempt to me that all guys were not the same. When he said he loved me I believed it, when he said he had my back I believed it, when he said he was loyal to me and only me I believed it but when all these emotions that I thought were so pure turned out to have flaws. I had begun to think maybe he was not lying and that he was exhibiting his own definition of love, compassion and loyalty or maybe he had been hurt before and his heart is guarded ND never realized rather of being the heartbroken became the heartbreak.Then I try to analyze the situation like I do all situations but still till this day I cannot come up to a conclusion as to why He would do that and maybe I will never know the real reason or never will I know the whole truth but for now I have to face the reality of it and in hopes to move on and be able to love again someday. The real ity of it all is that not everybody means what they say, everyone has their own definition of love and that forever does not exist in this love story.